The Wanderer’s Handbook – Foreword
So you’re all flippy because you discovered there’s more – a lot more – to the spheres than that forgotten hole on the wrong end of the Ring you like to call home. Big deal. You think that now nothing can bar you from going out into the sprawling kalpas and regain the freedom that, for whatever dull-witted reason, was entirely absent from that ill-begotten cesspool of your dwelling place.
You can, of course, go out into the kalpas. There’s nothing to stop you. Save, you know, others just like you who’ve left their rotting backwater dumps but have done so a long time ago and resent it bitterly if someone else crowds their valuable infinity. They don’t like to be reminded of their limited, hopelessly ignorant past because, in fact, they did not change at all. They still think time has, or will, change them, when that’s a whole load of crap that anyone with half a mind can see is completely wrong. More about that later.
Another thing that can turn your pleasant journey of nothingness quickly into a much too solid ordeal are the natives. That’s not to say that all natives are just burning to step on your inadequately-clad toes. Most of them actually aren’t, and a lot are genuinely curious and kind and all that fluff. This, as an unfortunate consequence, turns those who do make it a sport to be a nuisance and act like the stoneheaded asses they are into more of a danger than they should be. There are two reasons for it.
First is that their behaviour, due to its rarity (believe me), is unexpected; and second, because of this rarity there is little chance for any but the most seasoned of wanderers to develop any semblance of experience and useful tactics regarding these unsavoury encounters, when they actually do occur.
It’s a good thing, then, that you’re holding this little treatise and perusing its contents, which I advise you to do with great attention, as here you will get exactly what you need to start on your journey without having to bear the scars of having acquired this knowledge by the usual means.
Do not get me wrong: you will get hurt. There’s no denying that, as it can’t be denied that what you’re proposing yourself to do is the single most worthy, exhilarating, utterly mind-boggingly awesome endeavour you could ever dream of undertaking, to put it humbly. Still, this one thinks that life is too short to get hung up on small things. Learn, do your homework, so that when the time comes to get hurt, to fail, you’ll do it for the big things.
Fail spectacularly as a shooting star in the night sky, as the sun that at every moment burns itself in dazzling splendour. And when it’s over, dust yourself off and try again, because that’s what it means to fail. It means a chance, a route, a map, a beginning. Don’t fret the small things. I’m here for that. I’ll take care of those so that you can do what you’re really supposed to do.
To be the greatness of the spheres.